So What Exactly Is Instinctual Breastfeeding? And How Old Is Too Old?

We know that breastmilk is the best first food for babies.  We know that it makes them stronger, smarter, healthier, and less likely to suffer from short- and long-term health problems.  We also already know that it keeps moms healthier by helping them recover completely after birth, reducing postpartum depression, lowering her risk of cancer, and more.  So what's the problem?  Why don't more women do it?  And how do we decide what's right, socially-speaking?

The problem, in my opinion, is simply the way America views breastfeeding.  Giving expectant moms a list of the benefits of breastfeeding is nice, but we need to start making it more socially acceptable.  I once read (and shared on Facebook) the following story about a captive gorilla learning to breastfeed and laughed, thinking that this was exactly what I was like with my first couple of children (as do millions of other mothers in America).

"In a nutshell, a gorilla raised in captivity got pregnant without ever being around other mother gorillas and their young. When her baby was born, she just plain didn't know what to do - would hold the baby close to her breast but facing the wrong way, and so forth. The zookeepers eventually had to intervene and artificially feed the baby.
When she became pregnant again, someone had an anthropologically intriguing idea. The zoo contacted the local chapter of La Leche League and had some members start going to the zoo with their babies, feeding them in front of the gestating gorilla so she could see how fellow primates did it. And when her baby was born, she ultimately was able to nurse. Even when she stumbled a bit at first, the LLL taught her by example, and she prevailed. It wasn't by convincing her with studies on the benefits of gorilla milk. It wasn't through guilt or judgement. It was just by example."


(Full article can be seen here: http://dou-la-la.blogspot.com/2011/02/nursing-in-captivity-on-bethenny.html?spref=fb)

I think many of us mothers in America are like the gorilla--we just need a better example than what's been set (or re-set) by our society.  Not only do I mean simply learning HOW to breastfeed but about the LENGTH of breastfeeding.  The general public is much more likely to criticize a woman publicly breastfeeding a toddler than they are a woman publicly breastfeeding a newborn. Why?  Unfortunately, it is because America's media--everything from the silver screen to comic books--has made us think a woman's breasts are purely for sex.  Even me saying the word "breasts" makes people uncomfortable.  Would this be so if they were used the way God meant for them to be used?

While we were living in Oklahoma, I heard a story of the news that I will have a hard time forgetting.  A breastfeeding mother was asked to cover herself while feeding her baby AT A WATER PARK FILLED WITH SKIMPY SWIMSUITS!

Women in remote tribes of Africa do not have media to tell them that their breasts are for sex.  They have not had decades of demoralization of women's breasts like we've had in America.  It's only considered inappropriate in places where breasts are considered for other purposes.  Take, for instance, that person who complains about a breastfeeding mom.  Chances are likely that the complaint is done by someone who sees breasts for purely sexual purposes.  (Duh, I know.)

Natural Age of Weaning
Consequently, this social perception of extended breastfeeding has succeeded in lowering the average age of weaning.  Many people say, As soon as they're old enough to walk. . ." or "Once they are old enough to help themselves. . ."

The natural age of weaning for thousands of years and currently in other countries is dramatically different from America.  Dr. Katherine Dettwyler from Texas A and M University's Department of Anthropology researched the various ages of weaning not only with humans but with other mammals.  Her goal was to come up with a set of predictions determining when human babies would naturally be weaned without social pressures, doctor's "advice," etc.  And since one of the themes of Healthy Families for God has been to return back to our God-given instinct, I thought her research is very helpful on this issue.

So what did she discover?  "A survey of 64 "traditional" studies done prior to the 1940s showed a median duration of breastfeeding of about 2.8 years, but with some societies breastfeeding for much shorter, and some for much longer."

(http://www.kathydettwyler.org/detwean.html)

However, she goes on to note that because this is an average from so many different cultures, the average age of weaning in some cultures may be mere weeks, while others are 4 years or more.  If women in America were not so quick to give their babies formula, the normal age of weaning would be much higher.

Back To Nature

So what is the best length of time to breastfeed?  How often should toddlers nurse?  How long is just too long for toddlers to nurse?

In an effort to get back to a woman's instinctual nature (funny how our "instinct" can be so drowned out by culture that we have to re-learn it!) and answer these questions, I did some research.  I found a practice called "ecological breastfeeding."  Aside from its modern-day name, this instinctual method of breastfeeding has been put into use for thousands of years.  

This practice is not complicated, but it does involve throwing out everything society tells you about caring for an infant (and a toddler!).  Today in America, this practice is used collaboratively to ensure amenorrhea (absence of menstruation).  However, my purpose for studying it and describing it here is because it seems to be the most instinctual way of feeding our babies into toddlerhood.  It maintains the following feeding guidelines:

1.  Exclusive Breastfeeding For At Least Six Months.  Allowing the baby to increase mom’s milk supply by sometimes constant nursing during growth spurts is necessary for this to work.  Supplementing a demanding baby’s diet with formula will begin a gradual decline in breastmilk production and thus signal amenorrhea (absence of menstruation) to end.

2.  Pacify Baby With Breasts.  Allowing baby to be pacified and fall asleep while nursing is an essential component to this practice.  This is a difficult one.  Most moms are so busy today that it’s impossible to allow baby to be pacified at mother’s breast.  If it is not practiced, however, a mother can become pregnant again much sooner no matter how “busy” she already is!

3.  Don’t Use Bottles Or Pacifiers.  Another difficult one.  However, the extra sucking that should be taking place at the breast instead of on a pacifier is what helps the mother remain in amenorrhea.  (Some mothers, including myself, have successfully used a pacifier on occasion and continued to prevent menstruation.  But because it is very habit-forming, it can be shaky ground to tread.)

4.  Co-Sleeping with Baby.  Yes, this means the Family Bed.  For thousands of years, babies have slept safely and soundly next to their mother’s warm breast.  Many cultures still adhere to this practice and are found to remain in amenorrhea.  Research demonstrates that babies who sleep next to their mother’s awake more often for nighttime feedings.  This can also mean that they do not sleep through the night for the first year or so.  While many moms immediately think of this as a curse, a mother can either lose sleep over a little one for longer or over many of them right in a row.  This practice allows us and the baby with more bonding and cuddle time before another family member is born.

5.   Nap Time With Baby.  Cuddling with baby and nursing him to sleep during the day is another essential piece of this custom.  A nap will basically tell your body that you currently do not have the energy needed to care for another young one yet.

6.  Nurse Frequently and Avoid Nursing Schedules.  This one's a no-brainer, because scheduled nursing is obviously rooted in American culture!  It is perfectly natural for babies to nurse even constantly (every hour or more) during some stages of their growth.  My little one even uses it as pain relief for teething and just for general comfort.

7.  Avoid Mother/Baby Separation.  Baby goes everywhere with mom--another easy one to see how it can be tainted by our culture.  The physical contact between mom and baby maintains a constant release of hormones that keeps milk supply up and mom's menstruation away.  The best way I’ve discovered to do this is to make use of a traditional-style baby carrier, such as a Maya Wrap sling or Moby Wrap.

As stated earlier, these practices have more benefits than just delaying fertility.  I know these principles can be very difficult for today's American mother to follow.  I am providing them because for those of us who are interested, I believe they provide mom and baby with a breastfeeding relationship the way God meant for it to be, before Dr. Spock told us to let our babies cry it out and pacify themselves.

In the words of a friend, "Imagine me saying to my husband, after a long, hard day, 'I need a hug,' and he says, 'You need to learn to self-soothe. Stick your thumb in your mouth and when you're done being manipulative, you can come out of your bedroom.' Do you think that would endear us to one another? Please don't say, 'It's different when you're 33 than when you're 3.' "

You can see how the practice of instinctual, extended breastfeeding can affect much more than a child's physical health.  And that is why I am working on abandoning what society tells me about breastfeeding, including how old to wean a nursling, and working hard to get back to our Creator's original intention.  As always, I believe God's original design for things is the best way to go!

And for those who still don't want to see me breastfeeding my toddler in public, I'll leave you with the words of a breastfeeding advocate:

'Think "extended" breastfeeding (past 1 year) is wrong? Well, Michael Jordan was breastfed to age THREE. Same with Albert Einstein. Jesus Christ, even LONGER. The day YOU have six NBA Championship rings, a Nobel Prize in Physics and the ability to walk on water, we'll talk. Till then, put a cork in it.'